Don't Look Back (The Becky Chronicles, Book 1) Read online

  I wasn’t happy with his response and I wasn’t going to pretend to be. I’m tired of pretending!

  “Did it help?”

  He looked at me strangely.

  “Did what help?”

  “Leaving to blow off steam.”

  He leaned against the door frame.

  “Yes and no. I met up with Craig and Mike and we shot some pool and had some drinks.”

  Oh, really? Well…isn’t that nice. I guess I was a source of stress for him also.

  “Come on, Beck. It’s getting late. Let’s go home.”

  He pulled on my arm, but I didn’t budge. Chad looked at me and cocked an eyebrow.

  “I didn’t say I was leaving.”

  He held his hands up for me to stop.

  “Just stop. This is bullshit. Is this your way of punishing me? Ok, I get it. I’m sorry I left earlier.”

  Wow! That has to be the shittiest apology in the world of apologies. I just shook my head.

  “What is it now?” He groaned.

  “You are being an ass. You’re not sorry about the way you acted earlier, either.”

  His eyes seemed to light up. I could tell he was furious.

  “You can read my mind now? That’s really rich, Becky.”

  Oh, it just gets better and better.

  I heard Lynn clear her voice behind me. I turned around.

  “As entertaining as this is, I really need to get some sleep.”

  “I’m so sorry, Lynn. Let me get my purse. It doesn’t look like he’s going to leave otherwise.”

  “I noticed.”

  I grabbed my purse. Chad and Lynn didn’t say a word to each other. I said bye to Lynn and walked passed Chad to my car. I didn’t have anything to say to him. He followed in silence and got into his truck.

  We arrived back at our apartment within a few minutes. I walked ahead of him and unlocked the door. I walked back to the bedroom and got ready for bed. Chad stood in the doorway and watched me. He finally walked into the bedroom and undressed. I tried not to look at him.

  Hey, I’m only human! Even if I am pissed, he is still the hottest man alive.

  Remember, Becky, you are pissed at him. He has been an asshole.

  Don’t give in just because he looks yummy!

  I turned with my back to him.

  There. That’s better.

  Out of sight, out of mind.

  Right?

  He turned off the light and I felt the bed dip on his side. I took a deep breath and waited for him to put his arm around me.

  And waited.

  I heard Chad’s deep breathing and knew he had fallen asleep. I felt very much alone, although he was right by my side.

  CHAPTER 7

  I pretended to be asleep when Chad left for work. I didn’t get much sleep at all. I felt like I had been beaten by a truck!

  I checked my email and was glad when I saw one from my editor. She had already made arrangements for my next assignment.

  South Carolina.

  Couldn’t come at a better time than now. I’m ready to blow this popsicle stand.

  She wants me there tomorrow. Hell, yeah! I’ll leave early if I can.

  I gave Gwen a quick call to confirm everything. No luck on leaving early, though.

  Well, shit!

  I looked at my phone and saw I had a message from my dad. He wasn’t at work today and wanted me to stop at the store and get some juice.

  Hmm…he must be really sick. My dad is a biology teacher at the high school and rarely misses a day.

  I dreaded calling, but I wanted to make sure he didn’t need anything else. Of course, my dear mama answered. He has a severe sinus infection and bronchitis.

  I ran by the store and picked up some juice and soup. I stopped by their house thirty minutes later. My dad was covered in a blanket and laying back in his recliner. He got up the moment he saw me. My mother was acting distant toward me.

  Oh well, I feel no guilt. I had to put my foot down.

  Everything was going okay until Chad’s name was brought up. My dad always has this way of getting me to tell him stuff I really shouldn’t be telling my parents. Like…about our argument last night. My uncertainty about marriage and the fact he has never mentioned it to me.

  “Well, you know he isn’t going to buy the cow when he can get the milk for free.” He said with a straight face.

  I blinked.

  I think my mouth dropped open.

  “Phillip.” My mother hissed.

  “What did I say wrong? I’m trying to be honest with the girl.”

  I was stunned…and hurt. My dad has always been very blunt, but he usually reins himself in before he says anything hurtful to one of us.

  Because there was more truth to that statement than I wanted there to be. Now is not the time for revelations. I have a trip to pack for. And a moody boyfriend to deal with.

  I got back to the apartment and started packing. I would be gone for five days this time. There were three places I had to check out for the magazine. It was always hectic, but fun.

  I finished up all the laundry. Around three o’clock, I sent Chad a message to let him know about my pending trip. Also, that I will be leaving in the morning at six o’clock to go to the airport.

  A few minutes later he responded with simply an okay.

  Well…

  I guess he is still pissed. For what reason, I don’t know. I am the one who should be upset.

  Lynn called to see how everything went last night after she left. I think she was disappointed there wasn’t any hot makeup sex to report. Or brag about as she put it.

  Chad sent me a message around five o’clock to see if I wanted some Chinese food. He said he would be home in about an hour.

  I don’t know if I was happy or agitated he was not working late. The part that is still pissed is agitated. The part that thinks he is awesome wants him home now. My feelings are at war with each other.

  Chad walked through the door within the hour. We didn’t say anything at first. He busied himself with unloading the bag of take out. I saw him glance at me. I was dressed in my blue, knee length night shirt. Not trying to impress at all.

  He got me an egg roll and some sweet and sour chicken without rice. I never have to tell him what I want. He always remembers this is what I order. He’s a chicken lo mein kind of guy. Such a noodle freak!

  We sat down at the table. I had taken a few bites when I dared to glance at Chad. I looked up and found his piercing, blue eyes staring at me. It gave me chill bumps.

  Chad stood up. He walked around the table and kneeled in front of me. He reached for both of my hands.

  I don’t know about you, but when a man kneels in front of you, it does weird things to your brain. Crazy thoughts enter your head.

  He squeezed my hands and looked in my eyes.

  “I’m so sorry I walked out last night. There is no excuse for it. Please forgive me.”

  Chad let go of one of my hands and caressed my left cheek. I closed my eyes and leaned into his touch.

  Now, I am a strong person.

  I am!

  But…when Chad touches me it’s like my body goes haywire.

  He reached up with his other hand and wrapped it around my waist and pulled me closer. His lips touched mine and I melted.

  His tongue demanded I open my lips. The moment out tongues met, I knew I was a goner. Damn! He slid his hands up my thighs and lifted my night shirt over my head.

  “You’re so beautiful.” He whispered with a huskiness to his voice. I loved that sound. His voice always sounds like when he’s aroused.

  Chad kissed me again. He gently massaged my breasts, pinching the nipples between his fingers. I gasped at the pleasure and pain. His lips trailed down my neck and then stopped at my breasts. He flicked the tip of his tongue against one of my nipples while pinching the other with his fingers. Then Chad switched sides and did the same again. I was getting so wet. I knew my panties were soaked. As if sensing the d
irection of my thoughts, one of his hands slid inside my panties. He rubbed my clit gently at first, but then he added pressure as he started to rub in circles. I moaned at the intense pleasure his fingers were giving me. But I wanted more.

  Chad inserted one finger and then a second, pumping them in and out. I felt his fingers slightly curl inside me. He moved his mouth from my breasts down to join his fingers. He flicked his tongue against my clit. I felt my eyes roll back in my head. Chad grabbed my hips and pulled me against his mouth while he continued curling his fingers inside me. My back arched away from the chair as I moaned with pleasure. It was almost too much.

  “Come for me, Becky.” He commanded.

  “Yes, yes, yes. Don’t stop.” I moaned when he applied more pressure. I screamed with my release.

  Chad kissed my inner thighs and pulled my panties off. He stood up and unbuckled his pants. I helped him take them off. I ran my hand up the hard ridge of his cock. It was straining against his boxers. He pulled them off and watched as I licked him from base to tip. He pushed me back and shook his head.

  “I can’t wait. I need to be inside you now.”

  Daaamn!

  Chad pulled me up and turned me around. He pressed my hands down on the counter. His hands firmly grabbed my hips as he used his thigh to spread my legs wider. He gently pushed down on my lower back, making my ass stick up in the air. Chad held onto my hips as he entered me from behind.

  Yes! That’s what I had been waiting for.

  Chad pulled out and thrust back inside. He did this a couple more times.

  Harder with each thrust.

  Finally, he found a steady pace and I held on as he pumped in and out. He increased his speed and started pounding into me harder. I lost control of all my senses as smelled the scent of our sex in the air.

  I was moaning along with Chad when the first waves of orgasm took over. Chad was pounding into me at a furious pace. He let out a roar as he came. His body was shaking with small spasms as he tried to catch his breath. My clit was still twitching from the release of one of the hardest orgasms I’ve ever had.

  Chad’s breathing slowed down. He helped me stand up straight, although it was on wobbly legs. We walked to the bathroom to clean up.

  “I hope this means I’m forgiven.” He smiled at me with a twinkle in his eye.

  “Hmm…maybe.” I smiled back.

  He arched his eyebrow.

  I leaned in and kissed him. I could still taste me on his lips. I wrapped my arms around his neck, while Chad wrapped his around my waist. He kissed my forehead.

  “So, you’re leaving in the morning?”

  I was enjoying the feel of his arms around my naked body.

  I nodded.

  “I’m being sent to South Carolina this time. It will be for five days.”

  I watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down as he swallowed.

  His jaw clenched.

  I knew he would not be pleased, but he didn’t say anything.

  “I have to leave by 6:00 in the morning to catch my flight.”

  Chad lifted his head in surprise. “That’s really early.”

  I nodded.

  “At least I will get there early enough to get started checking out all the local hot spots.”

  Chad kissed my forehead again before stepping back. I walked back into the dining room and put my night shirt back on. I needed to go to bed. I set the alarm clock for 5:00 in the morning. I walked into the bedroom as I watched Chad put the leftovers in the fridge.

  I climbed into the bed and closed my eyes.

  The next thing I heard was the alarm. I groaned.

  Ugh! It can’t be time to get up yet.

  Chad wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled closer. I snuggled against him. He kissed along the side of my neck and nuzzled my shoulder.

  I sighed in content. If I could just stay like this! But no, I had to get up. I didn’t want to, but I forced myself to pull away from Chad’s embrace, and headed toward the shower.

  I was like a zombie without my coffee.

  Oh, well. Not enough time for it this morning.

  Just don’t expect more than a growl from me for the next couple hours.

  I finished drying my hair when Chad walked into the bathroom.

  “Do you need me to drive you to the airport?” He asked while yawning.

  I smiled. He is so cute first thing in the morning. I always looked like a hag.

  Some people are just lucky!

  “I’ll drive myself, but thank you for offering.” I leaned over and kissed his lips.

  Chad grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me closer as he deepened the kiss. We were both breathless when he released me.

  “When did you say you get back?” He smirked.

  “Not soon enough.” I was still trying to slow down my breathing.

  I was ready to go within a few minutes. Chad walked me out to my car. I promised to call as soon as I arrived. He always worries when I am gone for more than a couple days.

  I arrived at Kiawah Island, South Carolina later that morning.

  My days were filled with checking out the nature center at the park. I knew my readers would love that along with the usual activities of kayaking and the like.

  It was beautiful, but I was so ready to for this trip to be over.

  Maybe it is a combination of the calls I have been getting from Lynn.

  She is getting out of control. I’m worried about that girl!

  Also, Chad has been sounding distant on the phone. He has been tense about some new clients. I don’t know what it is all about, because he has been brushing it off as nothing. All I know is that he has this edge to his voice that isn’t usually there.

  Hopefully, everything will be worked out by the time I get back.

  CHAPTER 8

  You know that feeling you get?

  You know the one.

  Where something just doesn’t seem right, but you can’t put your finger on it.

  I kept having that feeling.

  When I got off the phone with Chad this morning, I felt this urgency to get back home as soon as possible.

  I don’t know why. It made no sense.

  I promised to join him during dinner if I made it back in time. Having dinner with his clients falls at the bottom of my list of things to do, but I know it is important to Chad. And I want to show my support for him by being there.

  I pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant and spotted Chad’s car. I parked mine close by and quickly walked inside.

  I scanned the inside of the restaurant. My eyes stopped as I saw the back of Chad’s head. He was sitting across from his dad along with some of his co-workers. I started toward their table, but stopped when I noticed the woman sitting beside Chad. She had long auburn hair and from my vantage point, her dress barely covered her ass. Not only that, she was sitting a little too close to Chad. I observed them unnoticed.

  I felt the color drain from my face.

  I was frozen. Staring at them dumbfounded.

  Her hand was on his thigh!

  What. The. Fuck?

  He did not make an attempt to remove it. Chad turned his head toward her and she smiled at him.

  I felt nauseous.

  I had to get out of here. Now!

  I stepped back slowly, not taking my eyes off them.

  I will not cry.

  I will not cry.

  Shit! I could feel the tears gathering in my eyes. It was getting harder to breathe.

  Gregory’s eyes met mine. He smiled and started to stand up. I saw him look at Chad, who turned around and met eyes. He quickly looked down and removed the woman’s hand from his thigh.

  I fled the restaurant.

  I heard Chad calling my name, but I there was no way I was going to stop. I reached my car and sent a silent prayer to God that I did not lock it this time. I quickly got inside and locked the door. As I inserted the key there was a knocking at my window. I looked up and saw a frantic
Chad standing there.

  “Becky, please stop! It isn’t what you think.”

  Oh, really? Does he think I’m a fucking idiot?

  “Not what I think! Her hand was on your thigh, Chad. You didn’t remove it until you realized I was standing there!” I was screaming at him with the window up, but I knew he could hear me clearly.

  “Please open the door or roll down your window.” He raked his fingers through his hair.

  “Go to hell!”

  “Oh, that’s real mature, Becky. Real mature.”

  I know he did not just go there. Fuck mature!

  “I don’t really care, Chad! There is no way you can explain that away. You made a choice and now I have to make mine.”

  By now I was a combination of shouting and crying. I was a complete mess!

  “What the hell does that mean?” He beat his hand against the window. Tears were in his eyes.

  “I need to go and think. Just give me some time to think.” I turned my head away and started my car.

  “How long?”

  I heard the desperation in his voice and I almost let him in.

  Almost.

  “I don’t know.” I hated it because my lips trembled when I answered him. I took a deep breath and drove away.

  I glanced in the rearview mirror. Chad was standing there watching me as I pulled out onto the highway.

  I had to get control of myself. Who was that woman? Why did she look so cozy next to Chad? I just wanted to scream! The tears were clouding my vision. I blinked my eyes to clear them. My phone started ringing. I glanced at it.

  Chad.

  I hit decline.

  He called right back. I knew he wouldn’t stop, so turned my phone on silent. It took me about fifteen minutes before I entered our city limits.

  I couldn’t go to our apartment. Lynn’s place was out of the question, because she was out of town. That only left my parents. Well, desperate times lead to desperate choices. I just hoped my mother did not give me a hard time about it. That’s the last thing I needed.

  Unfortunately, it put me close to the Matthews home. I looked at the time. It’s 7:45.

  I pulled into my parents’ driveway. I looked into the mirror above the visor. My eyes were red and swollen.